You Look Smart

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Rainbow connector belt

Circle the Globe yellow skirt

Precious cobalt suede sling bag

all from Anthropologie (who make some odd froufrou things, but also some seriously gorgeous basics that I am not quite grown-up enough to afford yet. maybe just the belt. possibly the skirt. probably not the bag.)

I’ve decided that this weekend, I’m going to throw away all the trousers in my wardrobe that don’t fit properly.

New acquisitions will always be hemmed to the correct length, will not have pockets that stick out at odd angles and shall always remain a reasonable distance from my ladyparts.

This is my solemn vow.

Incredibly chic French woman via Garance Dore

Black silk knotted trousers from Loeffler Randall via NotCouture

Bring tha motherfuckin powersuit ruckus, Julia!

This would be my conference dress, with a pair of sensible heels (more on that later) and perhaps a cardigan. Love it x1000. Get it for US$76 at JessJamesJake.

I also want this Escada striped jumper, but mostly because it’s really really cold right now and I want to avoid leaving the heater on. As my mum says, just put on a jumper, you goose. US$38 at RegalVintage.

I carry my stuff around in a giant orange ripstop nylon Crumpler bag that I’ve had for at least four years and, oh my, how it looks its age. There’s no way to look dignified or adult with a big ole Crumpler slung across your shoulder, and I’ve been quietly thinking about replacing it. But the world of handbags terrifies me, in part because they cost so damned much, in part because of all the nauseating commodity fetishism surrounding them.

I’ve remained attached to the Crumpler because I carry a Lot of Things with me on a daily basis. On a light day I’m carrying a 13” Macbook, iPad (shaddup), three or four books, a Moleskine, a small zippered bag for my makeup, giant wallet, phone etc. On a heavy day I’ll be carrying my gym gear. The Crumpler, bless its cotton socks, can carry all that. But lately I’m thinking I should suck it up and buy a separate gym bag and a proper messenger bag for the rest of my stuff.

Then the lovely Elise of Broom People alerted Cheney and I to Cambridge Satchel. There were choirs of angels. It was pretty special.  It is everything I, a soon-to-be proper Doctor of Philosophy, could have ever wanted. I have resolved to buy a 15” satchel in vintage brown as soon as my next invoice comes in, with my initials embossed and everything. Love.

Even as a fully-grown independent woman with a modest income and the audacity to occasionally put on trousers, I fancy wearing a skirt now and then. Since I don’t live in sub-tropical Indochina, I am a friend to hosiery.

Let’s break it down.

The thickness of hosiery fabric is measured in deniers (a composite word of the linear density of thread mass, apparently. Science!). 8-15 denier is sheer (though I’ve never found anything under 10 denier that doesn’t shred to ribbons on first wearing), above 25 is only semi-sheer, and anything above 40 is mostly opaque , with 100 denier being pretty much like wearing skin-tight pants. Awesome.

Stockings stop at your mid, or upper, thigh and require either a suspender belt to hold them up or a strip of silicone around the top (referred to as “stay-ups” or “hold-ups”). 

Pantyhose go up to your hips or waist. UK English tends to refer to all such garments as ‘tights’, but US (and maybe Australian) English makes a distinction between tights and pantyhose based on denier. Pantyhose are sheer or semi-sheer and usually below 40 denier.

Tights, if you’re a fan of UK English, are every kind of hosiery that goes to your hips or waist. If not, they’re pantyhose thicker than 40 denier.

Done. Now you can stop using those terms interchangeably and annoying me, and go purchase some. I like this place.